Memoirs of a Mentor
by Kirino
Summary: A sojourn into the thoughts and point of view of Tomoe Mami. Spoilers for up to Episode 12.


_I dedicate this oneshot to all fans of Tomoe Mami._

_Thoughts are in italics._

x~~*~~x

I was really happy. Really really happy.

Mother and Father were finally taking me to the shooting range! I had been begging Mother for _years_ to take me there, wishing for the day that she would finally allow me to shoot a gun.

My father was a gun enthusiast for years, and he met Mother at a firing range that one of his friends frequented. The friend introduced them to each other - one thing led to another, and they tied the knot after dating for two years. When I was born, I remember one of my first memories was being really interested in a model M1-Garand that my father owned.

I became fascinated with guns early on. However, both my parents were against me taking up the craft of shooting because my mother said that it was "unladylike". I countered, saying that she had met Father at a firing range, and that gender didn't matter when it came to things like this. Mother remained adamant, and that was when Father finally stepped in.

"If Mami-chan's grades are top-notch, and when we deem that she's old enough, we'll let her."

"On one condition," countered Mother. "She must be well-versed in the traditional arts. Tea brewing, flower arranging, etc."

So it was had that I was practically forced to take up tea brewing at the age of ten. I eventually fell in love with the craft of brewing tea, and I loved it whenever radiant smiles would light up on my parents' faces because of the tea that I made. It made me proud to make them happy with something simple like that.

As part of the bargain, I delved into my studies, eventually getting into the top ten of my grade. At the same time, I never lacked enthusiasm for my love of guns – I would scour the internet for information on models, calibers, maintenance, pricing, etc.

And now, today was the day that I, Tomoe Mami, would finally be allowed to shoot a gun! Though on the outside, I appeared to be a goodie-two-shoes girl, I do have a different side to me as well. A few nights ago, I snuck one of my father's deer rifles out and practiced shooting with it, using .30 Winchester rounds. Apparently, my studies and hard work didn't go to waste. Had Father seen me, I'm sure he would've said I was a natural. The fact that I was able to nail a soda can from 350 yards on my very first shot was indicative of that. The fact that I emptied all the magazine's rounds into the soda can without missing once probably would've sealed the deal. And that was after I tied a PET bottle to the muzzle to dampen the sound of the shot.

Father turned and entered the expressway. "Only five minutes till we get there, Mami-chan!"

I smiled back and even Mother saw fit to break her normally stern exterior and her face lit up with a warm smile.

Three minutes later, my life was over.

A truck in the opposite lane somehow saw it fit to overtake the sedan in front of it by swerving into _our_ lane. The truck driver wasn't able to reenter its lane immediately. With nowhere to go, and the truck having gained some distance on the sedan, Father decided to make a leap of faith, and he attempted to thread the needle by navigating our car between the two vehicles.

He would've succeeded, had it not been for the overspeeding Nissan Teana that rammed into the side of our car, plowing our car into the guardrails.

A fiery pain surrounded half of my body, and I felt as though a cannonball had been dropped on my head. Our car's right side crumpled inwards on us, and morbidly, I was pretty sure that Father was killed instantly because he was driving.

The force of the impact sent me to the car's floor, and I was screaming in pain. I looked down and sure enough, the fiery pain that I had felt was the fact that both of my legs were broken, pinned beneath the crumpled chassis of the car.

I heard no one answer my screams. No one on the roadside saw it fit to check the carnage for any survivors. I could vaguely hear cars whoosh by, completely ignoring the wreckage. I had no way to check whether or not Mother was still alive, though in my delirium, I could've sworn that I heard her last words.

"Mami-chan, I love you..."

Tears began to stream down across my cheeks, and I noticed that they were crimson colored. I was wounded pretty badly all over, and I couldn't move since half of my broken body was pinned under the wreckage.

That's when I saw _it_.

A pair of red eyes.

x~~*~~x

To my surprise, the white ferret-like creature _spoke into my mind_.

"Tomoe Mami, do you wish to live? If you do, contract with me and become a Puella Magi!"

Without nary a thought, I somehow had a feeling that this dubious contract was the only way for me to save myself. I had no choice, and answered, thinking:

"_Are you telling the truth? Who are you? What are you?_"

"_My name is Kyubey,_" answered the creatured. "_I could probably explain to you what my business is all about, but I can feel that by the time I finish, you would be a corpse and both of us would have unfulfilled objectives. I suggest you complete the contract and I shall explain the situation to you afterwards._"

"_All I have to do is make a wish?_"

The ferret-like creature named Kyubey nodded, and repeated,

"_Make a wish, so that you can complete the contract with me and become a Puella Magi!_"

Closing my eyes, I remembered my mother's last words. No, I did not really want to live, but at the same time, I was also scared to die. With my parents gone, I didn't feel as though I had a reason to live anymore. Keeping this in mind, I made my wish:

"_I wish that I wouldn't die alone._"

x~~*~~x

When I had made the wish, I barely felt a burning pain as a yellow gem suddenly rose from my chest. Nary a second after that, the pain just disappeared from my body.

"Your powers are attuned to your desires, personality, and the situation where you made a contract. As it stands, your powers are powers of healing," said Kyubey, surprisingly not through telepathy. "That gem in your hands is called a Soul Gem, and that is the medium through which all your powers are channeled."

"Healing...?" I replied, dumbfounded that what felt like a million years of pain that I was experiencing earlier was now just gone, like a candle extinguished by the wind.

Just as suddenly, when I touched the yellow Soul Gem, I felt as if I knew exactly what to do. I closed my eyes and transformed like how magical girls did in anime. The strength returning to me, I sat up and looked at Mother and Father.

Or rather, what used to be Mother and Father. Bent and broken, they resembled nothing but dolls that were trampled by unruly children at a daycare center.

"Leave them. They're nothing but organic matter that will soon decay and be used as fertilizer," said Kyubey matter-of-factly.

I was appalled at the callousness and insensitivity of his words, but I decided to just swallow it up. After all, Kyubey did save my life.

Concentrating, I lifted myself out of the wreckage and jumped onto the guardrail. With one last sad look, I left the carnage right as the ambulances arrived, too little, too late.

x~~*~~x

"So Kyubey, what is a Puella Magi's job?" I asked, curious.

The two of us were now in the Tomoe household. A household that will no longer be lit up by Mother's and Father's smiles.

"A Puella Magi's job is to hunt witches," said Kyubey. "Witches are the spawn of people's curses. When they perish, they drop a Grief Seed."

The critter pushed a blackened gem with a spindle point at the end towards me across the table. "You will need to collect these to replenish your power. As a Puella Magi, your Soul Gem will blacken the more you use your powers. To remove the taint, simply touch a Grief Seed to your Soul Gem and the Seed will siphon the taint from your Soul Gem, leaving it pristine."

I nodded, as I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing an old-style article, with a brown corset across my abdomen. My sleeves were detached, and a yellow ribbon was tied neatly across the top of my blouse. Below my ochre skirt were brown striped stockings, ending in old-fashioned shoes.

I noticed that I was wearing a feathered brown beret with a flower pin on the right side of my head, in whose center was a yellow gem.

"That yellow gem is your Soul Gem when you are transformed," said Kyubey. "Why don't you try your powers out?"

"You said that my powers are attuned to my desires and personality, right?" I asked.

Kyubey nodded and I focused my powers as though I had known how to use them all along. In my hands, a flintlock rifle suddenly appeared. I held it carefully in my hands, unsure if it would break or disappear as I walked to the window sill. With the ease of a rifling veteran, I took aim at the tree behind our house and I fired a shot at it. I then knew that each of these rifles had only one shot.

Focusing again, I willed another rifle to appear in my hands, right as I willed the first to disappear. Taking aim at the tree once more, I squeezed off a shot that nailed a leaf the size of a lollipop.

All throughout this, Kyubey remained passive, watching me as I experimented with my powers. I decided to get creative and summoned several rifles floating behind me. I then thought of the art of archery, which I had studied in my free time as an addendum to my gun enthusiasm.

"The archer should cease being conscious of themselves as the entity engaged in hitting the target. This state of unconsciousness will only be realized when the archer is completely empty and rid of the self, and thus they become one with the attainment of the goal, which is, in this case, to hit the target," I intoned to myself.

I willed all the rifles to hit their mark, and at the snap of a finger, or possibly even without that signal, the four rifles that I had summoned all simultaneously fired at the tree, the bullet holes apart only by a mere quarter of an inch.

I turned to Kyubey. "Hey, do I get something like a special finisher or something?" I asked.

Kyubey jerked his (at least I thought he was a boy) head towards me and replied.

"If you desire, Tomoe Mami, your imagination knows no bounds."

Suddenly, my Soul Gem began to blink, and I felt a wave of cold seep across my body.

"K-Kyubey, what does this mean?" I asked uncertainly.

"It means, Tomoe Mami, that there is a witch nearby. Follow your instincts and your Soul Gem will tell you where it is."

I did as I was told. I had nothing better to do, anyway. Might as well learn the tricks of my new craft.

x~~*~~x

The irony was not lost on me. My Soul Gem led me back to the location of the accident. Police had the area surrounded with crime scene tape, and Kyubey and I were on the grassy slope on the other side of the guard rails, off the highway.

I suddenly felt as though my entire body had been dipped in sub-zero water, and suddenly, right in the middle of the guard rail, a _portal_ appeared.

"Witches need to conceal themselves from normal humans, so they hide themselves in labyrinths. Your Soul Gem reacted to the presence of the labyrinth and showed us the entrance," said Kyubey. "Tomoe Mami, are you ready for your first fight as a Puella Magi?"

I nodded resolutely. "_I didn't want to die alone, so this is now my fate._"

x~~*~~x

The witch's labyrinth was... a thing. I have no idea how to describe it. It was like somebody combined a cubist painting with pastel colors and added LSD to the mix.

It was insanely _fucked up_. And note how badly my composure is shattered, as the elegant Tomoe Mami _rarely_ uses such uncouth words.

Kyubey then pointed out the witch's minions to me – strange otherworldly creatures that I didn't know how to describe. And the witch itself?

It was... for lack of a better term, a perversion of a mixture of the Pokemon Muk and the Digimon Numemon. Don't ask how I know about those things, as they don't matter anymore.

I steadied myself, and recalled what I had practiced earlier. If I was such a natural at manually shooting with a deer rifle, I'd also be a natural at shooting magical flintlock rifles.

I did not disappoint.

I summoned no less than twenty rifles, floating behind me in mid air. With a motion, I caused them all to simultaneously fire at the purplish mass of muck that was the witch.

Kyubey could only watch with an impassive look, as he always did.

I remembered what he had told me earlier – my imagination knew no bounds. So, if I wanted a spectacular finisher...

I saw the acronym on the internet once, as I was studying. BFG. Big Fucking Gun.

I wanted one so bad. I wanted one to assure me that I wouldn't be at anyone's mercy anymore. I wanted to make myself feel that, given this second chance at life, I would be master of my own fate.

I untied the yellow ribbon around my blouse and using it, I summoned a flintlock rifle that should be physically impossible for me to hold. Of course, it's abundantly clear that being a Puella Magi, much less being inside this witch's labyrinth, defies physics.

This rifle's shot should be at least an 800mm shell. Focusing, I replicated the ribbon and used it to bind the witch into place. Without thinking, I simply cried out.

"Tiro Finale!"

The flintlock rifle discharged _with no recoil at all_, and the shot's aim was true, impacting against the witch with an explosion. Suddenly, all around me, the labyrinth began to fade, until Kyubey and I were back on the grass beside the highway.

Next to me on the ground was a Grief Seed. I dispelled my transformation and transformed back into the casual clothes I had been wearing when the accident occurred. My Soul Gem appeared in my hand, and when I picked up the Grief Seed and touched it to my Soul Gem, I could literally _feel_ the taint being siphoned off.

"Give me the Seed," said Kyubey. Shrugging, I chucked it at him, only for his _back_ to open up, with the Grief Seed landing inside.

"...is that another mouth? And what else can I do with my powers?" I asked the critter.

"Think about your other desires. And yes," said Kyubey. "That is another mouth."

I held my Soul Gem in my palm, and decided on a mundane thing. I was mildly surprised when I was actually able to summon a cup of tea.

"And it tastes as though I brewed it myself, too," I whispered after sipping. "So, Kyubey, is this all that I have to do as a Puella Magi?"

My tone of voice belied the fear that I had felt when I faced that... _thing_. Yes, I was afraid, but I was also determined to do my best as a Puella Magi to protect people from those things. Surely, they were harmful.

"Kill Witches, collect the Grief Seed, rinse, lather and repeat. Your life will be simpler from now on, Tomoe Mami."

x~~*~~x

As I had no family left, I felt that there was no point in staying in the house. The very next day, I sold everything on the internet, getting a hefty sum for the entire house plus my father's collection of guns, and rented a small studio-sized room in a condominium not too far from Mitakihara Middle School.

I went back to school by day, my classmates none the wiser that Tomoe Mami was now an orphan. I smiled and kept my composure, acting as if nothing was different. The truth was, every night felt like a big burden to me. I was fighting alone, and I was scared, though I had no time to feel fear. I had to do my job to protect people from witches.

One day, I met another Puella Magi inside a witch's labyrinth. She was clearly a rookie, because she had next to no clue on how to fight a witch. I showed her the ropes and invited her over to my room.

"Would you like some more tea, Kaname-san?" I asked.

Kaname Madoka shook her head politely and replied, "No thank you, Mami-san. But thanks for asking!"

I smiled back warmly at her. I then realized that I could feel better about myself if I took Kaname-san under my wing as a Puella Magi. I could teach her the ropes of things.

I ended up doing just that. Merely two weeks after we met, we saved one of her classmates from another witch, a girl by the name of Akemi Homura. In her awe, she continued to follow Kaname-san and myself around, though she did not form a contract with Kyubey.

Two weeks later, I died at the hands of Walpurgisnacht.

x~~*~~x

I was surprised to find out that Akemi-san was a Puella Magi as well. She pulled me and Kaname-san aside and took us to an abandoned high-rise building.

"T-Tomoe-san, K-Kaname-san, I can stop time!" stuttered the twinbraided girl, adjusting her glasses.

I raised my eyebrows curiously. "Really, Akemi-san? Why don't you show us? Wouldn't that be nice, Kaname-san?"

Kaname-san replied, "Y-Yeah, Homura-chan, show us!"

Audibly gulping, Akemi-san replied. "Y-Yes!"

Instantly, I saw a large metal drum container fall onto the ground, dented and busted up. In Akemi-san's hands was a dented golf club.

I frowned. Akemi-san needed better weapons to be of use to us. "Don't you think you could procure better weaponry than that, Akemi-san? Stopping time is amazing, but it's a bit hard to use..."

Fidgeting, she nodded.

I was surprised that she showed up at our next fight with homemade pipe bombs. Pipe bombs! Made by a fourteen year old!

Too bad that pipe bombs were too small and insignificant against Walpurgisnacht. I died when I was rammed headfirst into a building.

x~~*~~x

We were all having a Puella Magi tactical meeting when Akemi-san brought up something that elicited different levels of interest from all of us.

"Soul Gems," Akemi-san was saying, "—become Grief Seeds when they're completely corrupted. Kyubey has been tricking us all!"

"Uh, so why would Kyubey lie to us about something like that?" questioned Miki Sayaka.

Miki-san had contracted fairly recently, and I guessed correctly that it had been to heal the injured Kamijou Kyousuke's hand. Inwardly, I felt incensed at her reason for becoming a Puella Magi. Consigning your life for unrequited love? It was really pitiful. She had a choice, as well as time to consider that choice, before using it on something like that. Never did anyone give me time, or give me a choice...

"That's...," faltered Akemi-san.

"Are you trying to cause discord among us by telling us something like that?" replied Miki-san angrily. "Don't tell me... you're working with that Kyouko girl, are you?"

"N-No!" replied Akemi-san in a strained voice.

"Sayaka-chan, please stop. Let's not fight among ourselves, like what you're guarding against," said Kaname-san, raising a hand, trying to quell the argument.

"I don't trust her," said Miki-san pointedly, pointing at Akemi-san.

"Mami-san and Madoka use projectile weapons, and I'm confident they won't stab me in the back. As for you... having explosions appear out of nowhere is a bit unreliable and much," continued Miki-san angrily. "Who knows how many times we were nearly hit by them?"

This was where I decided to step in. Miki-san was showing unfounded distrust in Akemi-san, so I had to offer some kind of compromise.

"Akemi-san, do you have other weapons besides explosives?" I asked in what I hoped was a calm and reassuring voice.

A beat, then:

"I'll think of something," replied Akemi-san uncertainly.

x~~*~~x

Akemi-san was right. To our surprise, right as we dispatched a witch, Miki-san turned into one herself. Apparently, she'd been ignoring my instructions to cleanse her Soul Gem with Grief Seeds.

As a witch, Miki Sayaka was a knight-mermaid, and I smiled wryly at the irony. Now that I knew Akemi-san was right, I somehow knew that a Puella Magi's witch form is reminiscent of her life's experiences. Miki-san was a knight because she was a knight in life. She was also a mermaid because her tale reflected the classic Hans Christian-Andersen story "The Little Mermaid."

Sakura Kyouko had arrived, and wordlessly, she joined our fight against the new witch that had spawned from Miki-san's Soul Gem, her body lay forgotten in an alcove at the train station.

The situation notwithstanding, I saw that Akemi-san was using more than just pipe bombs. She was now using guns as well, guns whose origin I didn't want to think about.

However, I cringed internally when I decided on a course of action that was for the best.

Yes, it was for the best. Only for the best. For my beloved _kouhai_...

As Miki Sayaka's witch died at the hands of Akemi-san's pipe bombs, I put my plan into action. It was the only way, really. I didn't want any of them to suffer Miki-san's fate. For the sake of my mentees, I should save them...

"Damn it, Sayaka!" screamed Sakura-san, grief and anguish permeating through her voice.

"This is terrible... the worst," said Kaname-san amidst tears, as she was now crying openly.

With a stoic disposition, I bound Akemi-san abruptly with my ribbons and in the same fluid motion, aimed a shot exactly at Sakura Kyouko's Soul Gem. I knew that my shot was true when I heard the sound of the gem break, and the very life faded from her eyes in an instant.

Tears were now cascading freely down my face as Akemi-san turned to me with a voice filled with fear.

"T-Tomoe-san!"

I cocked my rifle and aimed it at her, my shoulders now shuddering with sobs, the burden I was about to take for the sake of my _kouhai_ reaching its limit...

"If Soul Gems give birth to witches, then we all have to die!" I exclaimed through tears and sobs. "Both you... and I... all of us!"

"Stop!" screamed Akemi-san right as I squeezed the trigger.

For the first and last time in my life, my aim was not true. It was my lifeless fingers that squeezed the trigger, as I was just killed by Kaname Madoka with an arrow shot to my Soul Gem.

x~~*~~x

I was in shock. I hadn't seen a witch in weeks. My magical powers were running dangerously low, and I didn't want to know what happened if my Soul Gem turned completely black.

Sitting in my apartment room, sipping tea – that was all that I did these days in the evenings. I no longer bothered to go out and hunt for witches because, right as I approached the labyrinth with my Soul Gem having a fresh read on them, the signal inexplicably disappeared, signifying that the witch had perished. I hadn't cleansed my Soul Gem in weeks as a result, and I was now content to lay low for the time being.

"Hey Kyubey," I said softly. "It's all right if I don't hunt for witches, right? I can't seem to find any..."

"Don't worry about it, Tomoe Mami. Others will surely take up the fight in your stead," replied Kyubey.

I had no idea how literal that expression was. A few days later, my Soul Gem had turned completely black, and my consciousness disappeared right as my Soul Gem turned into a Grief Seed...

x~~*~~x

Today, I saved two _kouhai_ from a witch, Kaname Madoka and Miki Sayaka. They left a short while ago, right after I explained to them the nature of a Puella Magi's job – everything I could tell them was told, about witches, the Soul Gem, everything I knew. Kyubey had decided to involve them both when they called for help, and I knew that one or both of them would eventually contract.

I could only hope that they did it for the right reasons.

I met up with Kaname-san and Miki-san at the local cafe. I invited them to come along with me as I hunted down the witch that got away as I saved them. Lesson one of the Puella Magi experience, that's what I called it.

"Are you two ready?" I asked them, chin on my hands.

"I'm not sure if it'll help, but I brought this!" said Miki-san excitedly, taking an aluminum baseball bat out. "Better than nothing, eh?"

I chuckled, but inwardly I knew just how useless that bat would be against a witch. I decided to imbibe it with magic right as we entered the labyrinth later so that she could at least defend herself and Kaname-san from the witch's minions.

Of course, to reassure her, I said something reassuring.

"If your will is that strong, that'll help a lot," I said sweetly, smiling.

Despite my fear for their safety, part of me wanted them to contract with Kyubey, so we could cleanse the world of evil as a team.

Kaname-san then elicited a good laugh when she showed us her notebook that contained her depiction of how she'd look like as a Puella Magi. Oh, how I desired to see that costume on her as I laughed...

x~~*~~x

"All you do is follow the Soul Gem as it picks up the witch's location," I told them both, echoing what Kyubey had told me so long ago.

"The light hasn't changed at all," said Miki-san.

"Well, we did leave the witch for an entire day," I replied. "Not much left to track."

"What would've happened if you immediately pursued it?" asked Kaname-san.

I smiled wryly. "Oh, I probably would've taken it out, but that means that I would've left you two behind. I wouldn't have done that."

When we finally approached an abandoned building, Miki-san called to me and pointed upwards.

I looked up and saw a woman jump off the building. Quick as a flash, I transformed and caught the woman with my bindings, setting her carefully onto the ground. I saw the woman's neck and noticed a mark left by a witch.

"She's just unconscious, so don't worry," I said to reassure the two. "Let's go – the witch is inside this building."

We entered and ascended a few floors, until the portal to the witch's labyrinth showed itself. Like I'd thought earlier, I imbued Miki-san's bat with magic as I steeled myself, entering the portal with Kaname-san and Miki-san in tow...

x~~*~~x

After the battle, I showed the two what a Grief Seed looked like by showing them the Seed that the witch dropped.

I explained to them how witches occasionally drop them, not too unlike in games, and that they could spawn witches. I did make sure to mention that they were safe in that form.

I then demonstrated its use by using the Seed to siphon off the taint from my Soul Gem. "This is the compensation one gets for defeating witches," I said, matter-of-factly, throwing the Seed at a dark alcove.

A hand caught it, and out stepped Akemi Homura from the shadows. "I'll give it to you... or are you unhappy with sharing?" I asked sarcastically.

I didn't like this Akemi-san. She seemed to be harassing my two cute future mentees from becoming Puella Magi. Can't she see that more Puella Magi is a good thing?

"You should keep this for yourself. It was your prey," said Akemi-san, throwing the Grief Seed at me.

I deftly caught it and replied in a grim tone.

"I see. That's your answer then."

Akemi-san left without a further word.

x~~*~~x

"Tiro Finale!" I shouted, shooting the familiar as I stood atop the lamppost.

The labyrinth slowly dissipated as I annihilated the witch, and Miki-san and Kaname-san jogged up to me.

"Mami-san is so cool!" gushed Miki-san.

I sighed. How can they not see that what I'm doing is dangerous? For their own good, I have to dispell the notion that this is all fun and games, and hopefully do it soon.

"This isn't a show you know?" I said pointedly. "I don't want you two to forget that what we're doing is dangerous."

I jumped off the lamppost and gracefully landed right as Miki-san said "Yes!"

"It didn't drop a Grief Seed," pointed out Kaname-san.

"That's because it's a familiar," said Kyubey as he scurried onto Kaname-san's shoulders.

"Familiars just break off from witches, so they don't drop Grief Seeds. They CAN, however, mature into one, so we can't ignore them," I said matter-of-factly.

As we walked back, I decided to ask them if they decided on what to wish for, when Kaname-san broke my cool composure with a simple question.

"What did you wish for, Mami-san?"

I remembered the accident where I lost Mother and Father, and when Kyubey callously just said that they'd become fertilizer.

"I... didn't have much of a choice," I said. "I didn't even have time to think about it. I don't regret it, though. I still think my current way of life is better than having died back there. But since you two have an opportunity to consider your wishes, please try your best and think hard about what you really want. It's like a college application, only on a grander scale. Do it for me, at least...because I didn't get that opportunity."

Miki-san then continued with the question "Does your wish have to be for yourself?"

She then went to propose a hypothetical situation wherein she'd use her wish to save someone else. I expressed disagreement.

"I can't say I like your idea, Miki-san. If you're considering wishing for someone else's sake, then you should really stop and consider what _you_ really want. Miki-san, do you want his wish to come true? Or... do you want to wish for him so that he'd be in your debt? They might sound the same, but they're completely different. I hate to say it, but it sounds like you have an ulterior motive regarding your wish, Miki-san."

"That was kind of mean," said Miki-san dejectedly.

"Sorry, but I had to say it. If you don't realize the difference now, you'll live with nothing but regret later. I don't want that to happen," I said earnestly.

x~~*~~x

I went witch hunting alone one night when I ran into Akemi-san.

"You do you know that you're putting innocent bystanders in danger with what you're doing, don't you?" said Akemi-san.

"They've been chosen by Kyubey," I replied defiantly. "They don't fit the bill of "innocent bystander" anymore."

"You're leading the two of them into becoming Puella Magi," said Akemi-san.

I put on a look of contempt as I stared at her cool, stoic, impassive figure. "And that's what you don't like, now, is it?" I replied scathingly.

"That's right. It's bothersome for that to happen," she replied. "Especially Kaname Madoka."

I grinned in spite of myself. She noticed it as well. "I see. So you've noticed her potential as well."

"I cannot let her contract with Kyubey under any circumstances," replied Akemi-san.

I continued, gazing piercingly at her. "And you don't want someone stronger than you to enter the equation, do you? That sounds like something that a person who's been bullied her entire life would say."

A beat, and then:

"I would prefer not to fight you," said Akemi-san, flipping her hair.

Oho, _now_ she says something like that? "In that case, do your best so that our paths will no longer cross. I'm certain that the next time we meet, it'll come to blows."

Without anything else being said, I turned away and walked off, though I could've sworn I saw a look of _pain_ appear across Akemi-san's face.

x~~*~~x

A few days later, I was headed to the hospital because Kaname-san approached me, panting, saying that a Witch's labyrinth was to form soon. With Kaname-san in tow, we entered the labyrinth.

After a short while of walking while I held her hand, Akemi Homura made another appearance.

"I thought I told you that I didn't want to see you again," I spat.

"I'll take the witch down this time," said Akemi-san. "You two should get out of here."

Like hell.

"I can't do that. We need to rescue Miki-san and Kyubey," I replied.

Undeterred, Akemi-san continued. "I promise that they won't get hurt."

With a wry look on my face, I replied. "Do you think I trust you, Akemi-san?"

In a flash, I bound her up with my binding magic.

"You dumbass, now is not the time for this," managed Akemi-san through the grip of my binds, desperation creeping into her voice.

"I don't plan on letting you get hurt, but if you continue to struggle, I may have to," I said matter-of-factly.

"This witch is stronger than the others," she continued.

"If you stop, I'll let you off when I get back," I replied, ignoring her words. "Let's go, Kaname-san."

Without another word, we went deeper into the labyrinth, when Kaname-san suddenly startled me by talking about her insecurities, and how she felt that she couldn't do anything for others. She said that I was an inspiration to her, at which my cheeks flushed. Kaname Madoka had succeeded in embarrassing me.

"You told me that I could be like you, fighting for the sake of others," she said, gripping my hand tightly. "So... if I become a Puella Magi, that'll be my wish. Becoming one in itself will be my wish. If I can help others and be proud of it, that'll be the best wish I can have."

I gave her the usual warnings, albeit halfheartedly. Inwardly, I was overjoyed that someone with potential like Kaname-san was pledging to join my cause to help others.

"I really want to be like you in spite of all that, Mami-san," said Kaname-san.

That's where I stopped and finally digested what she was actually saying. "You shouldn't want to be like me. I'm... just acting cool. It's all scary, but I can't talk to anyone about it. When I'm alone, I cry, thinking of how I have to keep doing this, all of this, over and over. A better life than having died back there? Ha! That's debatable, Kaname-san. Being a Puella Magi is _not_ a good thing."

"You're not alone anymore, Mami-san," said Kaname-san softly.

With those simple words, I felt paralyzed by joy. Here was someone who was willing to indulge in the same hardships that I have been indulging in for so long, someone who was willing to accept the risks and still fight alongside me! Kaname Madoka, weak? Preposterous. I've never heard of a more erroneous statement in my entire life!

"I guess you're right," I said, my voice cracking slightly. I turned around to face her and held her hands in mine.

"Will you really... really fight by my side from now on?" I whispered, my voice cracking, tears in my eyes. "Will you stay by my side?"

She nodded and replied, "Yes, if you're really okay with someone like me."

I smiled, leaned back and wiped my tears. "I still need to be a mentor to you. I guess I'm not that great after all. Anyway... since you have the chance, think hard about your wish."

She agreed. I then suggested something as a joke. "Tell you what, if you haven't decided by the time I've beaten this witch, you can get Kyubey to treat us to dinner and cake."

"A cake?" she replied in surprise.

"Yes! The largest, most extravagant cake you'd ever seen!" I replied happily. "And we'll have a party with everyone. It'll be to commemorate Kaname Madoka becoming a Puella Magi and becoming my partner!"

"I-I'll become a Puella Magi for cake?" she said.

"Come up with something if you don't want that then!" I called as I began to walk away from her towards the inner depth of the labyrinth.

x~~*~~x

I have to admit, because of what Kaname-san promised me, my fighting got flashy and sloppy. As the minions approached, I did a series of acrobatic moves, moves that I rarely used as I preferred to just shoot them all down with numerous rifles.

When I finally encountered the witch, the first thing I did was to bat it away from me with a rifle.

"Sorry, but I'm ending this right now!" I cried. "Here I go!"

I peppered the witch with shots and even shot it point blank in the head. Just to make sure, I bound it and summoned my largest flintlock rifle yet.

"Tiro Finale!" I screamed, with more than the usual fervor. Today was the day that Kaname-san would join me, so I won't disappoint her.

The shot pierced through the witch and I commanded my ribbons to bind the corpse for good measure.

Only, it wasn't a corpse.

A... _thing_ vaguely resembling a sushi roll burst from the witch's mouth, opened its mouth wide, razor sharp fangs mere inches from my face.

I gasped, knowing that my life was going to end right here. Akemi-san was right. I had underestimated this witch.

As my head got bitten off, the last thing I thought was...

...

...

The cake really was a lie.

x~~*~~x

I was shocked. Miki-san had used up all of her power in that last attack to defeat the demon that we were fighting.

That only meant one thing: she was gone.

As Akemi-san, Sakura-san and I returned to the train station, I couldn't help but feel hollow at the loss of a dear friend and comrade.

"W-Where's Sayaka?" asked Sakura-san, still in denial about what had just occurred. "Hey, what happened to Sayaka?"

"She's gone," I said tonelessly. "She was guided away by the _Law of the Wheel_. Miki-san used up all her power in that last attack, didn't she?"

A fist slammed wood. "T-That idiot! What good is it... to give up your life for some guy you fell in love with... Dumbass... just as we finally became friends," said Sakura-san.

This feels like deja vu. I feel like this has happened somewhere before. I'm pretty sure Sakura-san fell in love with Miki-san, by the way.

"That's the fate of a Puella Magi," I said, not looking at the others. "We will disappear eventually..."

I turned to Akemi-san and saw that she was staring blithely at a red ribbon she was holding in her hand. Clutching it and pulling it towards her chest, she began to cry. Then she uttered a name.

"Madoka..."

...Madoka? Why does that...why... Why does that name sound familiar?

"Akemi-san? Madoka? Who's that?"

I would disappear years later, after years of fighting, and then I'd remember just who Madoka was.

x~~*~~x

"Mami-san... Mami-san... Wake up Mami-san!"

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Just... where am I?

I looked around and saw nothing but white. The endless white. It was like a blank canvas, endless reams of white, as though I was inside a white room, with nothing else in existence.

With one exception. In front of me was a girl with long pink hair, in a white and pink gown. Her hair was tied with white ribbons.

"Mami-san... Welcome home," said the girl, walking towards me.

She pulled me up and hugged me as hard as she could. "Mami-san, I've missed you..."

A jolt ran through my body as countless memories surged into my brain. Tears began to flow freely as I remembered.

"K-Kaname-san...," I managed, crying. "I-It's been a while. How... How could I forget you...? I even promised... we'd have cake. Why...?"

"Don't worry about it, Mami-san," said Kaname-san. "It's alright now. I know everything that was and will be. It was part of my wish. I've successfully erased witches from the Incubator system. Though it is not perfect, at least it respects the wishes of Puella Magi like you and Sayaka-chan."

The latter name triggered something in my mind. "Miki-san... she passed away years ago, in a fight alongside me, Sakura-san and Akemi-san... Does that mean she is...?"

"Mou, Mami-san, don't go killing me off like that!" said a voice I hadn't heard in years.

I turned to my right and, lo and behold, there was Miki Sayaka, in the flesh. "Yo!" she said. "Welcome home, Mami-san. You've done well for the past years. Isn't that right, Madoka?"

Kaname-san nodded. "Mami-san was the one who inspired me to stand for what I believed in. That's why I respected the wishes of the Puella Magi who continue to fight with my wish. You are part of the reason I'm where I am right now, Mami-san."

I was now openly crying – my two cute _kouhai_ had gone and grown up. "But isn't it sad, Kaname-san...? No one, not a soul remembers your existence..."

Kaname-san raised a finger in reply. "Nope! Tatsuya and Homura-chan remember me," she replied.

"Homura-chan... A-Akemi-san?" I asked, aghast. "So, on the day Miki-san passed away... Akemi-san... she was remembering you!"

Kaname-san nodded. "It must be tough on Homura-chan. She's not like normal Puella Magi. Due to her link with me, she practically has unlimited magic to tap into. I don't think she'll be meeting us anytime soon, though I can vaguely communicate with her every now and then."

I nodded. "So Kaname-san, where are we?"

Kaname-san grinned, and suddenly, the white all disappeared – instead, the three of us were now in an ornately decorated dining hall, similar to the Great Hall in the Harry Potter books I had read once, long ago.

"This is Valhalla, my personal Valhalla. When Puella Magi pass away, they come here and join me. No matter what timeline, if they were once a witch, they were also a Puella Magi once. Look, Mami-san, someone wants to meet you," said Kaname-san, pointing to a spot behind me.

I turned around and saw a small pink-haired girl, not too dissimilar from Kaname-san's appearance. Suddenly, the girl tackled me and hugged me tight.

I was surprised, so surprised that I was unable to utter anything. "Umm...?"

"Mami-san, Mami-san, I'm... I'm... I'm so sorry!" the girl wailed.

I stroked her hair out of instinct while Kaname-san and Miki-san looked on, smiling. "Sorry for what...?"

The girl looked up at me tearfully and replied.

"_Mogu mogu._"

My eyes widened as I finally realized who the girl was. My overconfidence had led me there, but all that was in the past...

...

...

...

A beat, then:

"C-Charlotte...?"

**~Fin~**


End file.
